Thursday, April 3, 2014

The Bible: The Gospels - Part 10

The "Sermon on the Mount"... or on a mountainside... or just some hill somewhere... continues! Where Jesus gives some good-to-sometimes-sketchy advice!

Satan's Sunday School Song lyrics:
The Lord told Noah
I'm gonna send a floody floody
The Lord said to Noah
You better build an arkie arkie
Build it out of gofer wood barky barky
Minions of the Lord

The people and animals
God was just going to drowny drowny
But some of the animals
Came to the ark in their twosies and sevensies
Elephants and... somehow kangaroosies???
Minions of the Lord

It rained and it poured
For forty nights and daysies daysies
It rained and it poured
For upteen bajillion daysies daysies
Try not to think about it
It will drive you crazy crazy
Minions of the Lord

Then Noah he sent out
He sent out a dovie dovie
It brought back an olive branch
To show there was dry landie landie
Noah sacrificed an animal
Just for the lordie lordie
Because he had some to spare

Then Noah
Grew a vineyard
Sat naked in a tent as a drunkie drunkie
His son Ham he saw him
Told his bros that dad was funky funky
Shem and Japheth
Covered dad with a blanky blanky
Then Noah cursed Ham's son Caanon

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