Saturday, May 15, 2010

1-2-3 Gutflush

Hi, I'm doctor Stefan Sojka from the Astrological Cellular Crystal Research Institute.

Did you know that a full 1/3 of your body weight is made up of toxins? It sounds unbelievable, but throughout a normal day you absorb toxic atoms, toxic compounds, and toxic vibrations from a multitude of toxic sources: toxic food, toxic air, toxic water, and toxic prophylactics.

Over time this toxicity builds up to the point that every single cell in your body becomes overweight, tired, and sluggish. What you need is a full cleansing.

Introducing Astrological Cellular Crystal Research Institute's breakthrough toxicity treatment: 1-2-3 Gutflush.

1-2-3 Gutflush is a three-step, scientific, total toxic cleansing system designed to rid your entire being of poison, and flush away 1/3 of your bodyweight in one easy treatment.

Step one involves swallowing our patented Reiki-infused crystal. This crystal prepares every cell in your body for the cleansing process by aligning them all with the same directional and vibrational resonance.

Step two is to drink our unique patented natural-healing drain-o. This unblocks the nanopipes within your cell's microplumbing then prepares and aligns each toxin in an orderly queue at the revolving chemical doorway of each cell ready for expulsion.

During this process you will feel a deep sense of universal connectedness since crystal vibrations are still present attuning your astral self to your quantum self and opening up all your chakras to recieve the final stage of the 1-2-3 Gutflush cleansing process.

Stage three is the final toxic cleansing phase. We have created a miracle herbal farm remedy that releases cellular sheepdogs into your acupuncture meridians to round-up the toxins and herd them through the astral-plane-shaped-dip that resides in your base chakra.

Once treated, the now completely harmless toxins are herded on-mass from the lower chakra post-cleansing holding yard and straight out of your back passage. Depending on your level of prior toxicity we usually recommend using industrial strength chamber and system to process the toxic deluge.

There has never been an easier and more scientific way to loose 1/3 of your bodyweight and cleanse your liver, spleen, gall bladder, and hypothalamus in one 5-minute session: the 1-2-3 Gutflush.

Please note 1-2-3 Gutflush is an extremely through cleansing. For complete safety, please consult your chiropractor, iridologist, and family ear candler before use.

From Skeptic Zone episode #13.

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